It is time for the most innovative form of role-playing.
Let’s suppose that I (or Irrational Worlds LLC, which is an evil conglomerate, registered in Missouri) know something about writing that you can’t find on the Internet. Furthermore, let us assume that there is some dark secret to being a writer. If you just read enough of this blog, and buy enough of our amazing, next level, web 2.0 books, you will magically stumble upon it. I will tell you some fantastic piece of wisdom that I won in a porn-watching contest from a secret writing master I met while hiking deep in the Himalaya.
That’s just monkey-stupid. You know there isn’t a secret, not really. I’ll save your clicky-finger the trouble, so you can better spend the day drinking rum.
Here’s the real plan: Use the keyboard. Write some words. Repeat.
See that’s not what ANYONE wants to hear.
No, this is where we tell ourselves that our writing sucks, or that we can’t master grammar.
What most folks don’t realize is this: Sucking is GREAT.
A writer should suck. They need to suck and suck and suck. The true artists should spend YEARS sucking at this.
Me? Oh, my yes. By the revered god that lives in the bottom of every Cheetoes bag, I suck. Suh-huh-huck.
Remember. This is a game of luck, in a lot of ways. That means trying over and over and over.
That means sucking, for years.
I don’t have any magic answers to the game. If I did, I wouldn’t be sitting here blogging. Instead, I would be sitting in Europe, blogging. I would be wearing a tuxedo, and smoking with an exceptionally long cigarette holder, while exotic women danced and made out all around my castle.
Europe is where the castles are. Keep up.
So. To make the long crazy rant short; we don’t have a magic key. Hell, all I know to do is suck my little heart out, each and every day, and hope that eventually, thousands of people will love the way I suck, and give me money for it.
That’s the dream. Money for sucking.
If you’d like to watch me stumble about, pounding out words like a chimpanzee with tourettes, then by all means, let’s go. You can watch me post all manner of ridiculous crap, until you realize the obvious truth.
“If this idiot can try to be a writer, surely I have a shot!”
Yes. You do. It’s the same shot we all have. It’s an amazingly small shot that is mostly directed by fortune and the ability to be so stupid that you don’t know when to quit.
This is exactly the kind of stupid I plan on being.
Come on then. We can suck together.